I Don’t Know What I’m Doing

Another confession.

I had a very strong reaction to a teacher participating in the Slice of Life challenge this month.  He’s from New York, and since I know he, like me, an educator, has pretty much seen it all, I trust him — and SO MANY of the other gracious, gracious teachers whose blogs I’ve commented on — to accept me when I just lay all out there for everyone to see.

I wrote this after I told him, Goodbye!  I can’t ever read your writing ever again!  Or anyone elses!  I want to DIE!  Because it’s the best thing EVAH!!  And I want to DIE in this heightened state of completion!!!  Goodbye!  Goodbye, World!!

Truly, I felt like a kid.

.. I’m still trying to calm down.

I had this reaction after reading several of the many teacher-writers who have been posting for Slice of Life. He just happened to be the last straw.  Why?

There are lies out there.  And when people blog (this, I truly believe about this medium), there is a bitter honesty you cannot get anywhere else.  AND I’m talking about the lives of teachers.  They are truly a beautiful, beautiful race.

I know I’ve used “truly” 3 times, I’m not trying to be subversive .. (yes.  yes I am.)..

You have to imagine a people who are the seat of all humanity.  They watch and think all day about the fledglings of society and work this knowledge of every. person. that they encounter into their hearts, into their methods, into their mannerisms, into their behavior.  Teachers are the nurses of human thought during the formative years of society. Think:  5, 6, 7-year-olds.  12, 13, 14-year-olds, 16-year-olds, 17-year-olds.   What were you doing 5 years ago?  12?  15?  Do you remember having gotten married 17 years ago?  It’s all a flash of lightening.  And this race of teachers has been the primary support during the evolution of society’s youth.  For children that did not exist 6 years ago, 10 years ago, 12 years ago, when you and I were busy picking out our last new car.  All those years, teachers have been teaching.  And more.

So here they are, some of them, laying it all out like me on Slice of Life — and at the same time, taking it from people like me.  And you’d better believe they’re okay with it.

No other group of people in their profession has allowed themselves to morph into a people whose every thought process, bodily function, behavior, energy and life for the benefit of another human being.  I am not counting nurses, doctors, caregivers and caretakers .. these people, you know they give everything for the sake of the human mind and body.  But teachers?

I swoon when I read teacher stuff.  I think it’s because while they are busy raising children and society, there’s a part of them that isn’t typically heard.  We don’t know this part of them.  They are magical, their minds, their hearts.

When I read their stuff, it’s like looking into the anatomy of the soul of society.

And I think of me, and what I owe, what I want to do.  My own struggles as a teacher and my worth, but not really.

As a teacher, you’re not trained to think about yourself.  That’s why not many of us are published.

We give everything.


btw:  NY Teacher’s post, “Signs




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